Healthcare brouhaha

Listen, we all use health care, pretending we will never go to see a doctor or nurse is crap. And when we need it, often we really need it. So who pays for it if you don't have insurance or enough money to pay the admittedly exorbitant prices -- everyone else. It's time for all of us to buy into the system and I mean buy. I think everyone should have to pay something in. If not in taxes then in insurance. It's like education, highways, and defense. We all need it and we all expect it. Whether we say it or not, we really believe we are all entitled to some form of health care when we get seriously injured or ill.

It's Valentine's Day

And I am working, and in Mississippi with 4 inches of snow, and he is in Ohio, and the world feels frozen to the core.

Thank God, I went to read the blog of a writer I have yet to read -though I have bought her first big book - but whom I discovered quite by chance during Nanowrimo when she sent out a letter of encouragement to the nanoers. She has a very refreshing way of writing and makes me believe in my continueing efforts at writing. I give the child inside me the right to write.

http://kristincashore.blogspot.com/

Her Valentine's Day post made me tear up, but then made me smile. Thanks!

When we were good

When we were good, we were very, very good, and when we were bad, we were awful. I don't know how, or even if, I can explain to my family and friends how high he seemed to make me fly and what he meant to me. We are, or were, living a mythological dream. It may be all my imgination, but I see us as two different beings from two different cultures that were in an eternal grapple, black and white, not racial, but our way of viewing the world. He has this dark, Irish, pessimistic view, and I, for whatever reason, have this optimistic, despite it all, view. Whatever happens, to allow the Germanic pessimistic veiw prevail is to give up on the possibility of change, and I beleive in change, and persoanl focus. I beleive that we can change the story that people want to tell about us. I beleive that we can out live this story they want us to be. That we can be more.

Spring is coming, hold on Lookout

61 degrees in MS. yes I will survive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4p27m5Y5b4

Plans

I am, unlike up to 10% of us, still gainfully and well-employed. I am able to pay bills and give to charity. I have the option of helping my family get by. I have, however, had to curtail much of the life I've written of here. I loved my years with "Him." But I don't know if we can go forward from here. I feel that together we created chaos, though it was quite inventive, but it seemd to be carreening out of control, perhaps only mine. I miss him and will walk on, but question whether I was goood for him or not, in the end. I feel richer for having met him, but am not sure the years with me have been good for him as a person.

Still it is good to be able to plan. Whether we make it (or if there is even a 'we') to Froliccon is open. I have made a good head way in my debts and have different ideas about work and what I want from it. I have come to understand some of what made us click as a couple of not very renegades. I only hope I can help him, and that I can be a better partner, at the same time helping him to see how we might go forward, better, together.