Work, work, work

It's January, the dark days of the year, when old people die and the flu becomes a reality, and there seems to be nothing but work, work, work. It's too long to summer and too many bills and taxes ahead. Want less and you'll spend less and then you get to work less. Makes sense on the paper or screen. But, I am too tired after working all my shifts at my main job in the first three weeks, cooking a gumbo dinner for the book club from scratch (very successful, I might add) then flying out of ATL after finishing a night shift to SD to work a string of twelve-hour nights here.

And the remark about the old dying was personal. A dear friend who persistently denied having cancer made it through the holidays (as I predicted) and died on the 15th, aslo as I predicted. He was a stubborn and adventurous man, learning to hangglide after open-heart surgery at 65 and ski at 72. He was almost 79 when he succumbed. But he fought it until after he had his family safely past the holidays. Bless him. After my neighbor called with the news at 1115 p.m. I turned on the XM radio for the long drive home from work and heard, "Good night, Sweetheart, sleep will ease your sorrow...Goodnight, Sweetheart, good night." Sounded like D was talking to me....

Springlike and work

It's gorgeous, in the 60's (when it should be 30's F) but I have to go to work in the middle of the day (I have a difficult time transitioning to mid-day shifts. Fine with night, though I am a day person, but there's something so wrong about having to start to work in the middle of a day!) At least with nights I can fool my body by taking a brief nap before I get started. But he and I both awakened about 0930, had a tasty session (which left me feeling warm, fluffy, and DRAINED) then had to regroup for work. Fortunately, the new schedule (for good or ill) only requires us to stay for ten hours. I've never had an eight or ten hour shift in all my career. So used to twelves, don't know what it will feel like, except, I hope, short! Happy New Year, and hope you are accomplishing those things in your life that count -- love, creativity, friendship, and health.

Where's my Christmas Spirit

Dang, can't seem to find that Christmas spirit. I know I laid it around here somewhere, but I'd really like to have it now. I just feel blah, tired and worn out with trying to work, shop, decorate, cookie back. I'm on tonight (Friday the 23rd) and Christmas Eve night, and then we will open presents Christmas morning when I get off work before driving all the way to OH to see his family. I plan on champagne and a fire in the stove while we open presents, apporpriate music, then I will nap all the way to Ohio, it's better that way when he is driving like a bat out of hell, and he will, being that it is Christmas and during the day the interstates are usually very clear that day. We've made the trip before. The only thing left to do is to wrap his last few gifts and pack, neither of which I had the heart to do today, though I got the last few dozen gingerbread (made 73 dozen this year)deliveries completed.

But Christmas morning, I'm putting him in charge. I refuse to do any further planning and want to be the child -- he can be in charge of who we visit in Columbus, and I will tag along. I will take along a few books and nibbles, one trashy outfit, one dressy one, some warm gear, and the rest is up to him!

I just want my Christmas spirit back!

Indeterminate Gender

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"Wild Side Sex: The book of Kink"

Midori, a well-known writer and teacher within the fetish/BDSM community, has put out a new book about the amalgam we call 'kink.' I'd never thought before of how this lumps together a whole sexual buffet that may, or may not, have much to do with each other. I have, by her lights, determined that I am a poly-fetishist, i.e. a whole lot of what is labelled 'kink' turns me on -- leathersex, bondage, piercing, tight-fitting elbow-length leather gloves, boots of all varieties, corsets, silk and fur and velvet, foot play, etc. There are very few of the kinks that don't hold some attraction (even if not strong) for me.

But, then, I've been an omnivore all my life -- I'll read anything, eat almost anything once, like talking to a variety of people, want to travel everywhere. It makes sense, therefore, that very little in the community shocks, disgust, or upsets me. And, truthfully, maybe a little of the attraction is my own exhibitionism. Since 'normal' society has only rarely ever liked and approved of me (I was raised a liberal in the deep South) it was just as well to hang with the outcasts and laugh back at society. Thank the goddess/god, that my mother was strong and willing to be different and an 'outsider' to remain true to herself. she gave me that as a gift. Peer pressure just never meant much, too much of a sacrifice to gain their apporval.

Her blogsite is here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/fd_midori/

I'm flying, but it's not from the mountain

We've been going through some honeymoon spell the last few days. Don't know exactly what triggered it, but we've been playing like mad. Maybe it's the date I've made with him to meet me at the Read House in Chattanooga in a couple of days and play out a first date. We're pretending it's our first meeting (the one he was two hours late arriving at) all over again. I'm pretending to benew to bondage and he's pretending he's never met me before and we're going for drinks and flirtation before retiring (well, he's supposed to woo me into his love nest) where we will do unspeakable acts. Okay, I'll get tied up at some point and do a whole lot of grovelling and gasping, and breathing. Lots of deep breathing.

But all this is in reference to the fact that for the last two days I have felt as if everything tight and clinched in me had melted away. I've felt all warm and happy, whether being 'chastised' or discussing future genital piercings for Christmas.

Excerpt from the Nanowrimo project

So she read the archetypes and the reasons for her kind of people, the ones who didn’t just want intercourse, but wanted something more who wanted to play ‘adult reindeer games’ and wanted to make up rules for themselves and names for themselves or new personas and who were happy to let others take over sexually, or even their lives, just to achieve this kind of sex. And then there were the spiritual seekers, the ones who wanted to achieve a higher consciousness by both sex and pain. In it all, she began to see herself as a variant of a ‘norm’ that she hadn’t realized existed, of a whole group of human beings, and not just a solitary wanderer, a misfit.
For years she had know about leather sex bars and wondered if she would ever have the courage to go to one, but just couldn’t figure if they or even swingers clubs still existed and how to get into them, or if, even given the opportunity, she world have the courage to go to one of them,. But now with the opportunity looming the only answer was “yes.” She would make the meeting.
She called him once a day that week, per his orders, she liked his voice and the one picture she had of him was quite attractive, but she realized it might be old and that might look nothing like him. She tried to be honest about her own looks but didn’t have anything but vanilla pictures to upload to the site and wasn’t quite ready enough for that to be part of her profile, so she compensated by the bluntness of her description. She wanted no disappointment when he looked at he for the first time. For her own part she figured she would be blindfolded , unable to tell black from white or old from young. Well-hung, yes, because, unlike many of the fraternity she was in no way interested in this without some orgasm occurring and unlike many of them she wasn’t gonna lie about it. The ones who insisted they wanted no sexual contact she viewed as self-delusional at best and outright liars on the other hand.

NaNoWriMo Concluded!

I did it, I really, truly did it! I am so proud of myself, even if what I wrote is pure drivel, it's ten whole days and 50,000 words of drivel later and I wrote it all in big chunks without thinking too long and hard. I had an extremely basic idea when I started and just ran with it. It is so rewardijng to have finished a long story even though it may never see the light of day. Viva la creativity! Now off to London for a long weekend and a wedding.

Thanksgiving, NaNoWriMo, work and family

All three currently consuming my time. I am working right now, and when I'm not, I'm doing time pacing to see how many words I can type in a given timespan to get more nanowrimo accomplished. I'm over 25,000 words today and so proud of myself since I started late! After working tonight I'm actually off for Thanksgiving for the first time in over a decade and I'll get to watch the Macy's Day Parade which was one of the high points of my Thanksgiving holiday, that and the little taste of Mogen-David wine (the only kind allowed in Mississippi when I was growing up) Mom always allowed us on Thanksgiving (and since my brother and sisters hated it, I got all their samples, too!) Also, I plan to start decorating the house for Christmas, try and get ahead on my Nanowrimo for the weekend and fly off on Friday to visit my nephew, his wife and their new baby girl, Jade, my foster granddaughter!

NaNoWriMo, part deux

Not NOT writing, just spent 5500 words on nanowrimo (in less than four hours) trying to make up for my lack of an early start. It really is empowering to just get the words on a page, without looking up to see the typos, without worrying that what you are putting down has a plot, without wondering if anyone will read it and nominate you for the Nobel Prize or even whether the damned thing will ever see a printed page. How about just writing? Just writing is good, and this is a journey I've been promising myself this year, and i'm on it. Can't believe that the gods were kind enough last night to leave the ED mostly empty so that I could get that many words on paper. I've had writer's cramp from a pen before, but my fingers and joints are feeling this stient now. Ahh, jubilation -- I'm a quarter of the way through!