Gender is mutable

“In my own little corner, in my own little chair, I can be whatever I want to be. I can be a fairy princess or a proud Egyptian pharaoh; I can be what ever I want to be.” Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella” (The quote may not be completely accurate, this is how I sing it in my head).

I am not required to know everything. (Just a little mantra for today)

Gender, during my yoga, suddenly seemed to clarify itself as I explained it to an imaginary man. It is mutable. If you doubt this or think of it only as a surgical modification, think of men who develop breasts as they get fatter. It’s not just fat, it’s the estrogen in the fat that is stimulating the growth of breasts.

Or perimenopausal women who become more aggressive and develop mustaches or demanding libidos. As their hormone levels drop, the relative amount of testosterone in their systems rise and they respond to that.

We talk of gender as though it was permanent, but what we mean is the equipment. The identity itself changes many times.

This is what Kate Bornstein was trying to tell me in “My Gender Workbook” , which book I had vainly tried to understand for the last two weeks, and, suddenly, it became clear.